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Saturday, March 31, 2007

Good morning... /Afternoon what ever suits you :P (time difference) any ways.... its said that one should start ones day with some laugh... so here are a couple of ticklers...


The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn.
"Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor.
"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed."

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"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!"

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Ponder This: The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him.

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A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor:"It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side)"And when I press here" (pressing the other side)"And here" (his leg)"And here, here and here" (his other leg, and both arms)
So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong... "You've got a broken finger!


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The Ranks of a Hospital

Surgeon:

  • Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
  • Is more productive than a train
  • Is faster than a speeding bullet
  • Walks on water
  • Talks with God


Internist:

  • Leaps short buildings in a single bound
  • Is more powerful than a switch engine
  • Is faster than a speeding BB
  • Walks on water if the sea is calm
  • Talks with God if special request is approved

General Practitioner:

  • Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
  • Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
  • Can fire a speeding bullet
  • Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
  • Is occasionally addressed by God
Resident:
  • Barely clears a picket fence
  • Loses tug-of-war with a train
  • Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
  • Swims well
  • Talks with animals

Intern:
  • Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
  • Is run over by a train
  • Is not issued ammunition
  • Dog paddles
  • Talks to walls

Medical Student:
  • Runs into buildings
  • Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
  • Wets himself with a water pistol
  • Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
  • Mumbles to himself

Nurse:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the track
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
The Nurse IS god!!!!

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